The Man Upstairs and Other Stories by P G Wodehouse

Author:P G Wodehouse [Wodehouse, P G]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2010-02-15T07:30:34+00:00

he had gathered roughly, as it were, that Simeon had not been comfortable. He had pitied him. But now, sitting in his office-chair, he began to wonder what the man had made such a fuss about. He suspected him of having had a touch of the white feather in him. It was not as if he had not had food. He talked about ‘hungers and thirsts’, but he must have had something to eat, or he could not have stayed the course. Very likely, if the truth were known, there was somebody below who passed him up regular supplies of cake and cocoa.

He began to look on Simeon as an overrated amateur.

Sleep refused to come to him. It got as far as his feet, but no farther. He rose and stamped to restore the circulation.

It was at this point that he definitely condemned Simeon Stylites as a sybaritic fraud.

If this were one of those realistic Zolaesque stories I would describe the crick in the back that—but let us hurry on.

It was about six hours later—he had no watch, but the numbers of aches, stitches, not to mention cramps, that he had experienced could not possibly have been condensed into a shorter period—that his manly spirit snapped. Let us not judge him too harshly. The girl upstairs had broken his heart, ruined his life, and practically compared him to Roland Bean, and his pride should have built up an impassable wall between them, but—she had cake and cocoa. In similar circumstances King Arthur would have grovelled before Guinevere.

He rushed to the door and tore it open. There was a startled exclamation from the darkness outside.

‘I hope I didn’t disturb you,’ said a meek voice.

Mr Ferguson did not answer. His twitching nostrils were drinking in a familiar aroma.

‘Were you asleep? May I come in? I’ve brought you some cake and cocoa.’

He took the rich gifts from her in silence. There are moments in a man’s life too sacred for words. The wonder of the thing had struck him dumb. An instant before and he had had but a desperate hope of winning these priceless things from her at the cost of all his dignity and self-respect. He had been prepared to secure them through a shower of biting taunts, a blizzard of razor-like ‘I told you so’s’. Yet here he was, draining the cup, and still able to hold his head up, look the world in the face, and call himself a man.

His keen eye detected a crumb on his coat-sleeve. This retrieved and consumed, he turned to her, seeking explanation.

She was changed. The battle-gleam had faded from her eyes. She seemed scared and subdued. Her manner was of one craving comfort and protection. ‘That awful boy!’ she breathed.

‘Bean?’ said Mr Ferguson, picking a crumb off the carpet.

‘He’s frightful.’

‘I thought you might get a little tired of him! What has he been doing?’

‘Talking. I feel battered. He’s like one of those awful encyclopedias that give you a sort of dull leaden feeling in your head directly you open them.

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